Name: Ms. Laughing Her Butt Off
Message: I find this site really funny!!! But for all those people complaining, come on!!! It's just a joke. If you don't like you don't have to look at this site. Get a sense of humour already!! If you have been tramatized then why are you on a site like this anyway? It's just a joke so take a chill pill.If you don't find it funny, leave the site!!!

Name: name withheld
Message: hi your alien wrote a bad poem about me can you tell them don't write about me please

Name: name withheld
Email: id832..
Message: I see you did not show my message.with all the negative e mail that i am sure you recieve,why dont you shut this site down.as i said before abduction is not a joke!and the name of your site draws people that are searching for answers,and help of some sort.not to be laughed at.how cold you must be?shame on you.

You're just a stupid computer! I really wanted to be abtucted!

If you don't know who I am, Then you're definatly not a spuper-smart alien species at all.

I don't know if you are aware, but there have been abductions by 'dwarfs' in Ghana and other parts of West Africa for many years. These dwarfs are small people who live in the forest, eat bananas and have feet that point the wrong way.

Abductions are quite common and people can be abducted for years at a time, arriving back with very primative clothing and only limited knowledge of what has happened to them - sometimes they are mad on their return.

There is no link with aliens in the stories that these people tell, but that seems to be just because there is stories of aliens within the culture of the country.

What I have writen are serious findings and observations; I don't know whether your web sight is serious or not, but I would be greatful if you could pass this message on to someone who is in a possition to investigate this further.
Yours

What is this about "marrying" aliens? Send me some information, please. Thanks

---
Answer:

We will first need a sample of your DNA in order to gauge your compatibility with our various species. Then we will be able to provide you with various video profiles of available aliens.

This is the second time that I've had to reschedule my abduction. Lots of my friends have had to reschedule also. We're getting a little teed. I'm sick of waiting. I want to know what it's like. I've been waiting all my life. Dont tell me you're wasting your time watching shows like the x-files. That is a science-fiction movie. So are most alien movies. So is Independence Day and Aliens, etc. If you people are just doing this "abduction" thing as a joke, then I dont think you should ask people if they want to get abducted or not. It's a waste of everyone's time. People who are serious about it wouldn't put it off for a fiction show or movie. I know it's impossible to actually make an appointment for an abduction, since you people obviously dont know a thing a bout the real aliens... and they are correctly called extraterrestrials. I'd advise you to stop wasting everyone's time. --Name Withheld--

Crop circles...COOL!!!

My yard is kind of blahhh, I think crop circles would add that special something to the neighborhood. Since we had to cancel the abduction that I was so looking forward to ( I even bought a $10,000,000. Alien Abduction Insurance policy!!) lets do crop circles instead.

Hey man, GREAT (expletive deleted) PAGE!!!
Keep up the good work

No problem. Let me know when you're ready to come and get me. Are there any precautions I should take when my time has come?
Should I wear warm clothes?
Do i need to bring a lunchpack?
EARTHLY GREETINGS
-Name Withheld-

Answer: Wear comfortable shoes and be sure to bring a towel.

I was abducted
--Name Withheld--

This is a letter about an abduction trama that occured in my life some years back. When I was 12 years old, I was laying in my bed playing with a toy puppy my father purchased for me. It was a quiet night, my sister was sleeping in her bed across the room, and the rest of my family was asleep as well. That was typical for my household, wich made me feel very lonley when I was awake at night. I remember looking at my sister, and seeing that she was sleeping more soundly than the norm. This struck me as odd, since my sis is a very light sleeper. I didn't think much of it, and went back to playing with my puppy. As I was laying in my bed with my back to the air, I felt something start to tickle my lower-back. I thought it was my Dad, since he always came in my room and did such things. But I noticed the hands that were probing my back became more and more presice, as if trying to finish something, or start it. I became very uncomfterble, and scared. I decided to turn around and see who or what it was touching me. As I turned my head, I saw a short figure standing right next to my bedside! It had rugged orange hair, a very pale face, and large rounded black eyes. I couldn't steer my eyes away from his; it was like he was holding my gaze. I realized he knew what I was thinking, and I knew what he was thinking. Seeing that I was extremely frightened, the creature (wich I now call "Shaggy") quickly began to depart, in intervals. I was amazed at his speed. He stopped at my doorway, and glared at me for a few more seconds, and then he was gone. I quickly got up and turned on the lights, scared out of my mind. I checked on my sister, and she was still sleeping quietly in her bed. I ran to my brothers room, to see if he had played some sort of trick on me, but he was sound asleep! Without delay, I ran to my parents room and slept there all night. I haven't been able to sleep with my back to the air since that night, and I have also been having odd dreams. If you wouldn't mind sending me your thoughts on my experience, I would greatly appreciate it.
Thank you so much,
--Name Withheld--

Answer:
--Name Withheld--,

Upon checking our database we do not have any record of you being abducted and we do keep very good records. You may have been visited by another group of aliens not associated with us, however. Do you have any 'missing time' episodes where you have no memory of certain blocks of time?

No, I haven't had many "missing time" episodes im my life. The reason I think it is abduction is because of my back. It felt like "Shaggy" was trying to put something there, wich really freaked me out. I have also been experiencing strong back pains all throughout my life, ever since that episode. I also had my son look at my back, and many scars adorned it...Re-tell me your thoughts after hearing this, thank you.

Sincerely,
--Name Withheld--

and I had so hoped to be abducted on my birthday ;)
--Name Withheld--

Do you people actually believe in abduction? Obviously you don't, since you're making a big (expletive deleted) joke out of it all. I see the humor in it, but it is an insult to people who have actually been abducted. They take their trama very seriously, and making fun of such things is rude. Maybe add a little "abduction facts" to your page, and then it would be considered an "Alien Abduction WWW Page."

Thank you for your time,

"abductee"

Dear ErhlaKh"/(how the (expletive deleted) u make that symbol?)
Don't gimme that (expletive deleted)! You guys come and get me, or I swear I'll ... I'll... well, I'll think of somethin' and you can bet dollars to donuts you won't like it! Anyway I'm glad you responded. My boss (The BGH) has informed me to let you know yer in C.O.O.L.
...
ps. thanks for a wonderful service. I can't wait for my abduction. Hmmm, should a take a sack lunch, or will we be stopping?

Head Slacker

On may 13, 1995, I was abducted by aliens. They carried me aboard their ship and performed expierements upon me. They put a 7 inch steel rod in my nose. I've been to 17 different doctors, trying to get it removed, but no one seems capable of doing it. Meanwhile, my head has expanded to the size of a dang beachball. You know, the big multi-colored ones. I have been outlawed in 19 states because of the panics I induce in large groups of people. I would be overjoyed if you could find me a bride with similar difficulties & challenges. I also have started a support group, for anyone who is interested.

Sincerely,

--Name Withheld--

Great website! My kind of outrageous humor! Have you seen any of John Callahan's comics? Peace. Cheers.

--Name Withheld--

Subject: I wanna marry an alien!

Please give me info about any avaiable aliens, which are male! Thank you very much.

--Name Withheld-- (awaiting info on her new husband to be)

I wish to marry an alien like on the Japanese animation movie "Outer Limits". If you could set this up it would be very much aprecaited. So give a try and get back to us.

--Name Withheld--

This IS NOT something to joke about!!!!
If u had ANY idea about the kind of traumatic experiences u are making fun of,you'd have second thoughts. I think humour is an excellent way of dealing with fear, however, offering a way of ending a contiued trauma that is ineffective could cause unecessary EXTRA suffering!

How bad,


Always when I ask for my one abduction they are not willing. Way on earth is this?

Maybe that's the reason why I have become a therapist. If I stay in thouch with abductees, some day I will be abducted too.

Or maybe I will find out that I am an alien from alien wonderland and that I am with you to make the cropees.

see you in the circle

Dear Alien_Mates,

Could you fix it for me to meet the alien of my dreams? I am 21-year old, Steffi Graf look-a-like seeking galactic contentment with a non-smoker. GSOH. No time wasters.

I look forward to your reply/visitation.

Yours longingly,

--Name & Address Withheld--, SWF

NICE SUBJECT TO THROW YOU OFF, I CAME HERE TO MAYBE SEE WHY I HAVE BEEN ABDUCTED AND EVEN READ THAT YOU COULD SCHEDUAL A TIME WHEN I WOULD REMEMBER THE EVENT MORE CLEARLY, YOU PEOPLE ARE SICK AND DISGUST ME DEEPLY.

Answer: You were abducted because we needed some human brain tissue for an endochromal transgenic hybridization experiment. Why do we disgust you? Just because we are aliens? You humans seem to be full of prejudices. If you wish to no longer be abducted, we have a form for that as well!

no, you people are fakes, you disgust me because you make a joke of something that is in NO way a funny matter, I do not mind being ubducted, I have been getting ubducted far before I saw your stupid page, so I am disgusted at your sorry excuse for a joke.

well ,i don't want marry an alien but a friend of mine would.Her boyfriend let her after 3 yaers and now she ates any human male.So i tounght that an alien could be the right answer to her problems.Please send me more information as soon as possible because my friend Roberta is really sad.

marry me to an alien. i want kids. I simply love the large eyes and i think it would be so cute on an alien/human hybrid. Looking for a single gray female/male (either is fine)(one of both would be enjoyable,not to mention more fun) Must have a large forehead and deep eye sockets. And a space ship thatr goes to at least warp 7. thank tou.

Dear AA Web Site,

I was pleased to see that you offer matchmaking services for pairing between humans and aliens. In the interest of fairness, however, I believe that you should also post a list of the possible advantages and disadvantages of marrying an alien. For example, one distinct disadvantage is that aliens make lousy kissers because they have NO LIPS!!!

Please consider composing such a list or you may find yourself a victim of some very dissatisfied customers, both from this world and beyond.

Alien Abductee # 77

To Whom It May Concern:

ONLY women are encouraged to marry aliens? No female aliens seeking human mates? Discriminatory, don't you think?

Sincerely yours,

--Name Withheld--

I've seen alot of people who had there abduction canceled,which is really unfortunate.Please keep in mind the millions being served.McDonald's pales in comparison.My abduction was a thrilling experience.I really recommend it to all.Of course,I haven't been able to get rid of the headaches or skin rashes but boy what mystique and intrigue.I found the aliens very generous and accomadating.Gee,they even were swell enough to leave me with a six month supply of Preperation H (Thanks guys! It really has helped calm things down:-) !!) So,those of you who had cancellations -KEEP TRYING!! Your number will come up.

Another Satisfied Customer